Nice philosophy, eh? It is what I do though. Always have.
I'm supposed to start back up with my harp lessons tonight and suddenly this morning I find myself waffling. Part of me wants to do this, part of me thinks it is too late, I'll never play like I envision playing, spend the money or not spend the money, I know I won't practice as I should, I'm tired, I'm always tired, I'm sore, work is tough this week and possibly next as well, high stress, have to do two plants' inventory instead of just my own, fret fret fret, stress stress stress...
In the grand scheme of things, my worries are silly and goofy and egocentric. I hate that about myself.
I'm between pieces of art...not sure what I want to do next. A while back I prepped a wood panel that I intended to use for a portrait but now I might use it for a photo I took awhile back. I'm torn on medium. I love watercolors but I'm not sure I like them on gesso'd panels. At the same time, I get irritated with the oils hardening up on me and never managing to squirt out just what I need. I don't know. This little personal drama will freeze me in my tracks for a bit.
I hate drama and yet I swirl in a maelstrom inside of myself of my own making. When I have nothing real to fret and worry over, I am worrying over my kids and grandkids and praying for their safety and health.
Darren talked to Grandpa last night and told him happy birthday. He must have asked Grandpa how old he was because after Grandpa told him, Darren said that was "old...really old." Grandpa is 55. Not so old but at the same time, I personally feel 100 and I'm a year and a half behind him.
Have to work Saturday at the other plant location (the regular person is out ill on a leave of absence) and I really am stressing that. I so don't want to step on her toes, so hope I can find any wayward issues that might crop up in their inventory. Afterwards, we'll take my mom out for dinner. I don't get over there like I should though I do call her at least once a week generally. Heavy guilt there.
Shut up Sherry.