Nice philosophy, eh? It is what I do though. Always have.
I'm supposed to start back up with my harp lessons tonight and suddenly this morning I find myself waffling. Part of me wants to do this, part of me thinks it is too late, I'll never play like I envision playing, spend the money or not spend the money, I know I won't practice as I should, I'm tired, I'm always tired, I'm sore, work is tough this week and possibly next as well, high stress, have to do two plants' inventory instead of just my own, fret fret fret, stress stress stress...
In the grand scheme of things, my worries are silly and goofy and egocentric. I hate that about myself.
I'm between pieces of art...not sure what I want to do next. A while back I prepped a wood panel that I intended to use for a portrait but now I might use it for a photo I took awhile back. I'm torn on medium. I love watercolors but I'm not sure I like them on gesso'd panels. At the same time, I get irritated with the oils hardening up on me and never managing to squirt out just what I need. I don't know. This little personal drama will freeze me in my tracks for a bit.
I hate drama and yet I swirl in a maelstrom inside of myself of my own making. When I have nothing real to fret and worry over, I am worrying over my kids and grandkids and praying for their safety and health.
Darren talked to Grandpa last night and told him happy birthday. He must have asked Grandpa how old he was because after Grandpa told him, Darren said that was "old...really old." Grandpa is 55. Not so old but at the same time, I personally feel 100 and I'm a year and a half behind him.
Have to work Saturday at the other plant location (the regular person is out ill on a leave of absence) and I really am stressing that. I so don't want to step on her toes, so hope I can find any wayward issues that might crop up in their inventory. Afterwards, we'll take my mom out for dinner. I don't get over there like I should though I do call her at least once a week generally. Heavy guilt there.
Shut up Sherry.
7 comments:
You're such an active person Sherri! Just take it easy for a while. Rest when you can, have fun with your grand kids and your mom. I'm pretty lazy myself these days and I'm beginning to like it. :)
Sending a warm hug for better days ahead. Winter blues or doldrums can be a pain in the neck. Think about the beauty of spring coming or....not. Listen two some beautiful harp music and be glad they put in the hours of practice and not you! Place your dollops of oil paint under Saran Wrap or in a Tupperware with water so they don't dry out. You will figure out how to word it nicely if you find something at the other persons job. The advantage of being a worry wart is you have solved most of the problem before it begins.
I would try to set myself free from guilt over mother though. Come up with a solution for that.
I too am a worrier.. we over think,over worry. It helps me to walk if I can outside.. oh but I have to make myself. Have you got a book to read. I like James Patterson. although lately I've been reading Romances.. I know. Hang in there. Love,Diana
If you enjoy playing the harp...I wouldn't stop. It's such a beautiful instrument.
If you enjoy playing the harp I say continue...so you'll never play in concert...big deal! Just enjoy it. Life offers a few chances for us to enjoy something so I say go for it!
Sorry you have to work part of the weekend. You need some down time. I had to laugh that 55 is "old...really old."
Enjoy the day. We have a lot of dampness and heavy fog...yuck!
Ah Sherry - please be gentle with yourself - balancing all the things you do deserves to be rewarded with just sitting quiet and enjoying the moment. Loved Julie's advice - some wonderful content in her words. God Bless.
I liked all of Julie's advice above...she's right, don't stress. Take some time off from stuff if you want (but don't stop blogging!) You can do whatever you want, there is no Federation of all that is Holy requiring you to do anything. Paint if and when you want...sketch if and when you want....Have more pancakes with your youngins. Enjoy yourself and chill! Your next project will come to you and in the meantime, no need to fret.
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